Single Parent Pessimist is 10 Years Old

13th April 2023

Today I got a calendar notification that said ’10 years of Single Parent Pessimist’ and I nearly fainted.

How can a decade fly by like that?!

Unbelievably, I created Confessions of a Single Parent Pessimist on 13th April 2013, shortly after my son’s first birthday.

The idea came after documenting my pregnancy during 2011, when blogs were fairly new online.

Writing about my experiences of pregnancy during a stressful time was therapeutic, and provided a safe outlet for my feelings.

Single Parent Pessimist seemed like a natural progression, giving me that same outlet as a first time mum.

This was needed more so when I became a single parent in the first few weeks of being a mother.

Text that says 10 Years of My Blog.

The Now Ironic Label of ‘Pessimist’

I called my first blog The Pregnant Pessimist, because I equated pessimism to being a realist.

Throughout my life I’ve learnt to avoid optimism, from the many times I’d look forward to something and get let down.

I struggled to cope with the feelings being let down gave me, which I now know is related to my neurodivergence.

My teenage brain worked out it was safer and less painful to always prepare for the worst; If it went wrong I’d be fine, and if it went well, it was a pleasant surprise.

And that was where the self-label of pessimist began, and how it fed into both of my blog names.

How It’s Changed

Over the years, I’ve learnt how pessimism isn’t necessarily realism, as always assuming the worst also causes pain and stress.

During this decade of Single Parent Pessimist I’ve gone from labelling myself pessimistic, to understanding my anxiety.

Anxiety makes you often fear the worst, and worry that things will happen that will cause you to dysregulate.

My anxiety disorder, largely caused by undiagnosed ADHD and Autism for 37 years, has shaped pessimistic thought processes to maintain control.

Lack of control causes increased anxiety, hence the need to avoid it where possible.

The control is only of ME and my environment, yet can come across as trying to control those around me.

I’m trying to change my negative mindset and reframe where possible, because positive outlooks are known to benefit mental health.

I don’t want to change the blog name, as it’s part of my history and shows how far I’ve come.

I now use the name Single Parent Pessimist with a hint of irony and as motivation for my personal development.

Photo of Claire Jacobs from Single Parent Pessimist standing outside a beach hut.

What Single Parent Pessimist Has Done For Me

This blog has done so much more than I can put into words for me.

It’s been my safe space to vent and reflect about parenting as a single mother, and also learn ways to improve my parenting.

For my own mental health, it’s enabled me to open up, whilst helping others to reach out if they’re struggling.

Writing Single Parent Pessimist is my lifeline, as I’m socially isolated, so it helps me find support from online communities.

The blog’s encouraged me to learn about areas that help increase personal growth, including ways to improve my wellbeing.

For my child, it’s given me opportunities to explore ways to support his physical and mental health, and his education.

Single Parent Pessimist’s even given me opportunities to try new things and find activities we can enjoy as a family.

I’ve loved being able to document some great memories from these activities here to look back on.

An open laptop on a wooden desk, showing a person on the screen surrounded by post-it notes for Single Parent Pessimist

Dispelling Blogger Myths

Some assume blogs show pretend-perfect family life and are written to get free stuff. This couldn’t be more wrong for me.

At times I get opportunities, but they aren’t free. It takes HOURS to plan, write, edit, create images and maintain a website.

Don’t get me started on how long it takes to promote posts across social media platforms, and hoping people find me!

It’s the lowest paid job I’ve ever had. Most of the time it pays nothing, but costs many hours of upkeep!

I write honest reviews, as I only want to promote something that’s good quality, to avoid people feeling misled.

In terms of faking the perfect family, I cannot do this I always keep it real about our life, as I want others in similar positions to feel less alone.

Blogs are hard to keep going and I’m proud mine’s lasted this long, and it’s even had some lovely feedback over the years.

How We Are Celebrating Single Parent Pessimist This Month

I have many favourite posts throughout this decade, which are easy to forget when they’re not at the top of the site.

Over this month I will (hopefully) create some content which highlights key posts within certain topics that might be useful.

Topics will include: children’s wellbeing, single parenting, low-cost family activity ideas, easy recipes and adult mental health.

If you have any other categories you’d like me to cover, do comment below and I shall try.

Lastly, A Big Thank You To You!

Single Parent Pessimist wouldn’t still be here ten years on if there were no readers, so thank you so much!

Thanks for supporting me throughout this time, by reading, sharing and commenting on any posts.

For those who also follow me on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and Twitter, have another thank you.

And if you listen to my podcast, Mind Vox, here’s even more gratitude for you!

Social media’s hard to get noticed on, so any likes, saves, shares and follows are highly appreciated.

These days social media influencing is the trend. Whilst I do regularly use these platforms, I believe blogs still also have their place.

Blogs offer more in-depth information that we can keep referring to when needed, about a range of subjects.

I hope my blog’s useful for people, but even if it’s not, I’ll continue writing, as it helps my wellbeing.

Here’s to another decade of what I hope will be further personal growth, and more helpful content for us all!

Logo for Mind Vox Podcast.


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