Getting Back Out There: How to Feel Empowered & Confident on the Dating Scene

8th June 2021

Life is starting to get back to normal, which is positive, but also scary for many who are now used to staying at home.

Dating has been solely online for a year, so bringing it back to the real world, and safely, can be daunting.

Over the years I’ve felt the anxiety about returning to the dating game, so can only imagine the extra fear after this crazy year!

So here’s my take on how to get back on the scene if you’re nervous, based on what’s worked for me…

Learning to Love Yourself Now

I learnt the hard way that looking for love whilst you don’t even like yourself, never ends well.

It’s tough to find someone decent if you don’t love yourself,- it’s like we attract what we give off.

So at times when I’ve felt worthless, I’ve ended up with men who have treated me this way.

A red journal on a table, that says Be brave, Be bold, Be beautiful, Be you

I recently wrote about how to embrace yourself for who you are, which is a great starting point before dating.

This can include self care, journaling and gratitude exercises to reframe our thoughts.

If you can be happy with who you are, you give out a positive energy that attracts the good ones!

Boosting Your Confidence

I have always felt that online dating is great for dipping your toe back in the water.

They are great for building confidence by practising talking to people without any pressure.

I love that you can browse and read about people before expressing an interest, which can be nerve-wracking.

A laptop on a table with a hand coming out of the screen, shaking another persons hand.

I find it far easier to hit a like button than approach someone at a bar, meaning I make the first move more.

It’s amazing how quickly you get back into the practice of flirting and noticing if there’s a spark.

Online can also be a safer way to explore some other kinds of dating if you’re sexually confident.

Staying Safe

Growing confidence to embrace your dating style is important.

Whether your looking for gay, bi, casual, long-term relationships or some of the ‘taboo’ styles of dating, being confident in what you want is vital.

There’s some great sites that allow you to explore your desires and fantasies, including mybdsmhookups and subsanddoms.

It can be safer to explore these things online first, so you have time to talk to people at your pace without any expectations.

Two phones next to each other with people looking like they are kissing each other on each screen, next to a coffee cup.

Staying safe as things are reopening is important too.

By talking to people online first, you get to spend time safely at home exploring whether you feel a connection before you actually meet.

In the past I liked so many guys online, but within a few chats I realised we had nothing in common or had no chemistry.

By realising this online, it saved me time, money and effort and saved actual dates for those I was already invested in.

Feel Good, Look Good

If you feel good in yourself, you come across at your best.

So if you do get to the stage of meeting in real life, remember to feel your best.

This can include wearing your favourite clothes or perfume and using a little make-up, but it’s also about creating a comfortable setting.

With the world being as it currently is, dating at a distance is something we’re adjusting to, but it can still be fun.

A man and a woman outside on a seat sharing coffee and the woman is holding a small dog.

Is there a nice bar or cafe with a lovely garden area for your first date?

Or is there an activity you both like that could be done safely, where you can talk and be socially distanced?

Crazy golf and romantic walks are just some that come to mind.

Being somewhere neutral, safe and with a relaxing vibe does wonders for our confidence.

Any Other Tips?

If you know any other good tips for getting back onto the dating scene, please comment below.

This is a collaborative post. All views are honest and my own.

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