My Positive Reframe of 2020
Yes it’s been a year like no other in so many negative ways.
It’s been terrifying, anxiety-provoking, frustrating, confusing and isolating for many of us.
Unfortunately it’s so easy to get stuck on these negatives until it’s all that we focus upon.
I’ve recently began feeling like this pandemic is never going to end and I’m at breaking point with it.
So how do I help myself and those around me?
Reframing is basically finding different ways to look at a situation, getting rid of your inner critic.
A classic example is the glass with water in it where some will see it as half empty, whereas others will be thankful it’s half full.
Positives of 2020
2020 has had many positives for me that I forgot about until I started looking through my photos
My happy moments include:
Proposing to My Partner In The Sun Newspaper
I knew in January that I wanted to propose. Leap Year only comes once every four years and it felt like a great way to do it.
I’d already purchased a joke proposal ring from the Poundland, and a week later saw The Sun wanted women planning to propose, so applied.
Before I knew it I was in London for a secret makeover and photo-shoot.
It had to be kept from my partner for a month which was tougher than I thought.
On 29 February I snuck out early for the paper ready for when he woke up. I then presented him with The Sun Newspaper article, a ring and cake and he said yes!
They even created a video and another article about the answer.
Then lockdown happened so it’s not really been forefront of our mind!
It was an amazing experience though, and one of the best of 2020.
Spending More Time With My Son
I haven’t had such solid time with my son since before he began nursery at the age of two.
During lockdown he wasn’t having overnights with his father, because we’re a shielding household, so I was with him 24/7.
In some ways this was testing, but at the age of 8 he’s far less exhausting then as a toddler!
It gave us more bonding time, and to be honest I already miss that time with him.
During it I was worried about not educating him well enough, and finding a routine so we didn’t get bored. If I had that time again I’d be more relaxed and just enjoy being with him without school, contact and life getting in the way.
We found places in my local area I didn’t know existed by taking our daily lockdown walks.
It was so grounding, relaxing and enjoyable to get out and take in the quiet nature around us.
We’re fortunate to live in walking distance from parts of The South Downs, local forests and the beach so we had a wealth of places to explore.
Even during days when my long-term chronic conditions flared, small beach walks did wonders for my wellbeing.
Starting Sexual Abuse Therapy
I told family eight years ago about childhood sexual abuse I encountered, but didn’t try to get support until recently.
I was finally strong enough to undertake therapy this year after being on the waiting list for two years. It started in January, but within weeks of starting we went into national lockdown.
There were a couple of phone call sessions, but then my therapist went AWOL and I was left in limbo. This was horrific and did set me off mentally.
Thankfully though, I talked to the charity who run it who apologised profusely and I’m now seeing a therapist who is brilliant.
I feel safe, nurtured and heard in the sessions, even if they are on Zoom.
It’s helping me work out how the traumatic events of my life (not just the abuse) affect me behaviourally and emotionally.
I’m learning my triggers and how to try to work with them better for the sake of myself and others.
I’ve even finally started to open up on social media about the abuse, in the hopes it helps other.
I’m amazed at the support, likes and comments I’ve received on posts about this, so thanks if you’re one of those people!
This was my lockdown saviour in so many ways!
It gave me a humorous escape from the lockdown reality by watching some funny videos from across the world.
I even attempted some of my own videos which my family cringe at.
A Meal at The Ivy Brighton
I went to The Ivy Brighton (before lockdown) for my anniversary and Valentine’s as they’re so close together.
It was a lovely night, and the last time I had a proper night out before the pandemic began.
The Bloke kept the location a surprise until we got there which was so sweet.
We were greeted with a beautiful wall made from roses as we entered.
Even the toilets were beautifully decorated, so it was nice to see how the other half live for a night!
My son was the first to experience a lockdown birthday in our family.
I even wrote a post with tips on how to celebrate children’s birthdays during lockdown.
He enjoyed a treasure hunt for his gifts, homemade pizza for lunch and a homemade cake.
I also sorted video messages from his school friends which he loved.
Since then my partner and I have had birthdays in lockdown which have also been different.
I gave him a barbecue, homemade fudge and cakes, and he created a gorgeous homemade romantic dinner for me.
My Son’s Achievements
Every award my son gets is amazing.
He got two headteachers’ awards in one day, which has only ever happened to one other pupil at the school!
My son’s awards at the Nautical Training Corp was a lovely experience.
He was part of a presentation about World War 2 and then was given an award.
I was a very proud mumma I must admit!
This was full of ups and downs, but overall it was great fun.
We created #kidstakingphotoschallenge on Instagram where he used a digital camera to take photos about a daily theme.
The garden had a veg plot, so he could learn the biology of plants and try new, healthy vegetables.
Stories were written (with a lot of persuasion), Ancient Greece was researched, and we even made VE Day bunting.
I can also remember science projects that involved eggs rotting in sugar and exploding volcanoes!
Revamping This Blog
I’m very proud of this website, as it took a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get to where it is now.
My partner built it from scratch, and with the help of templates we also found a theme that I think works.
Always open to constructive criticism though!
There’s still lots to do, like editing 500 old posts, but that doesn’t stop me appreciating where it’s at.
It’s crazy how a new design has re-motivated me into producing content. I hope to continue to producing meaningful, honest posts which I hope you will want to read.
Seeing the cute bears in the gardens around the area with their daily themes added fun to our daily walks.
I also loved spotting the lovely NHS rainbow signs children would make for their windows.
Another great use of Zoom has been joining a weekly women’s group run by a local charity.
It enabled me to talk and listen to women with similar trauma backgrounds as me.
During these sessions we learnt about self-care and did some interesting crafts like slow stitching and courage medals.
Instagram got me through some difficult times this year.
It’s a site where it can also do the opposite, so don’t be fooled by people’s presets and glam!
I created Mental Health Mumday for all those mums who want a safe space to talk about their mental health.
We have a DM group to talk about anything, any time of the day. This has been great, as the support has been amazing.
On Monday’s we post on our grids a mental health check-in, but only if we want to. Some weeks are harder than others, so it’s up to you if you join in.
To be part of it, message me on Instagram.
What’s Been Good for You?
What positives have come out of 2020 for you?
Please comment below to add some more positives for me to enjoy about this year!
Let’s hope 2021 is a great year, and I’m already looking at positive affirmations to use to help this!