Raising Confident Children (and Book Giveaway)

1st April 2021

*This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may get a tiny commission if you purchase through the link

Low confidence can be the root cause of so many issues in adulthood, and it can start from childhood.

I’m always analysing my son’s behaviours and have noticed he’s not as confident as I feel he deserves to be.

Self-worth is key to reducing some of these difficulties, so I’ve been looking at esteem-boosting ways to support him.

For confident children, situations are never hopeless, just problems to be solved. 

Confident children worry less about the opinions of others, and are less likely to respond to peer or media pressure. 

Confident children are social magnets. They are popular and fun to be around. 

Child on an elephant

Pat Guy, author of Raising Confident Children, has given me some basic tips to start off with:

Pat Guy’s Tips to Help Raise Children’s Self-Belief

Children Need Adult Time & Attention

Parents need to be involved in their children’s lives and spend time with them.

When children feel listened to, appreciated and understood, they see themselves as interesting individuals worthy of respect. 

Families are the best schools for the development of character. When children are nurtured in loving, caring homes, they have the best possible start in lifeSir anthony seldon

Children learn through imitating the behaviour of adults. 

They will learn from their parents about how adults deal with disappointment, success, anxiety, failure and social interactions. 

Demonstrate Confidence in the Children

Show the children that you believe they are capable of tackling a task.

Provide them with opportunities to do things independently.

Give lots of encouragement and specific praise for effort as well as talent.

Be open when you struggle with something to show the child that difficulties and problem solving are part of everyday life.

Use phrases like; ‘Oh well, I’ll have to have another go, nothing is going to be perfect first time. I’ll try again.’ 

Help the child to work out how to do things, particularly with school activities. 

Help them learn how to revise, learn spellings, organise themselves and more.

If a child feels they have the skills necessary to tackle tasks, their confidence will increase. 

Girl with light swirling around her

Remember Children are All Individuals

Comparisons to siblings or peers are unpleasant.

Just because a child walked, talked and took his GCSEs at certain ages doesn’t mean his siblings also will.

Life is not a race: all children develop in their own time.

Allow the children plenty of opportunity to play and mess about.

Encourage them to do more of what they enjoy, as well as anything they are good at.

This could include caring for pets, drawing cartoons, mending things, playing a musical instrument, skate boarding, gardening.

Practice will improve their performance in these areas, and have a positive knock-on effect on their confidence.

Emphasise the Importance of Good Social Skills & Empathy

Turn the child’s focus outwards and away from themselves.

Supporting others within their immediate social circle will help the child to feel confident in their own ability: being considerate towards neighbours, walking the family dog, helping older or younger members of the family, and being a loyal friend.

A child’s self-esteem will be boosted by positive feedback for thoughtful behaviour.

Encourage the children to participate in their school community and to join any school group that interest them: becoming a member of the School Council, a coach for junior sports teams, a Library monitor, an active participant in a school club, perhaps: Dungeons and Dragons, Drama, Lego, Conservation or the Charity Committee.

When a child’s contribution is valued by others, they will value themselves.

For children who find relationships with peers of their age difficult, younger children can provide them with an unfaltering supply of admiration and approval.

Encourage the children to join groups within the wider community: sports clubs, drama and dance groups, Brownies, choirs, bands, amateur dramatics or model aeroplane clubs.

When a child enjoys activities outside their family and school, they will get positive feedback from a wider range of people.

Well-developed talents and competences will always be a confidence booster for any child.

Read more about how you can develop your child’s confidence in ‘Raising Confident Children’ by Pat Guy – available on Amazon in paperback or Kindle edition. 

Raising Confident Children book cover

Book Giveaway (ends 22/4/21)

To be in with a chance of winning a copy of Pat Guy’s book, Raising Confident Children, simply enter the form below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Terms and conditions

This giveaway ends 22/04/2021.

Entries are verified before a winner is randomly selected.

Email addresses are required to contact winners and will not be used for anything else, or passed on without permission.

Your contact details will not be stored by Single Parent Pessimist after the competition’s ended.

UK residents only, aged 18 or over.

It’s the sole responsibility of Pat Guy to provide a prize to the winner and NOT Single Parent Pessimist.

No payment was received for this post
All opinions are honest and my own.


  • Claire Driver

    1st April 2021 at 8:56 pm

    Praise them after doing something well and when they have tried their best but didn’t achieve the goal

  • Ruth

    1st April 2021 at 11:55 pm

    Stability and routine, lots of love and positive experiences mixed in with a healthy diet and silliness!

  • Danielle Spencer

    2nd April 2021 at 4:29 am

    Let them hand the money to the cashier and encourage them to do stuff for themselves while supporting them.

  • Laura Pritchard

    2nd April 2021 at 11:13 am

    I should do more, but I make sure I praise them a lot!

  • Rebecca Evans

    2nd April 2021 at 7:26 pm

    Praise her for being clever/kind/inventive etc, rather than for being pretty!

  • Anne Bostwick

    2nd April 2021 at 8:00 pm

    I let him ride his bike but make sure he’s safe.

  • Laura Child

    3rd April 2021 at 7:19 pm

    I praise my children when they try things themselves and encourage them to try again if it doesn’t go quite right.

  • claire woods

    4th April 2021 at 11:15 am

    Praise them when they do well.

  • Rich Tyler

    4th April 2021 at 1:15 pm

    Encourage them to do their best

  • Bethany Irons

    5th April 2021 at 12:07 pm

    Let him do stuff independently, and give encouragement even when he wasn’t successful.

  • Ruth Harwood

    6th April 2021 at 8:31 am

    Every time I can I compliment their intelligence, their inner beauty and outer beauty too xx

  • Catherine S

    7th April 2021 at 2:26 pm

    I help them to work things out for themselves.

  • Jodie W

    16th April 2021 at 6:21 am

    Im trying really hard with this at the moment, as my 7 yr old seems to have very low confidence in himself. I keep highlighting all the things that are positive and emphasis what he can do rather than him focus on when he thinks he cant do.

  • Eileen Hindley

    19th April 2021 at 3:16 pm

    Praise them for doing things and say that I am very proud of them 🙂

  • astrid c

    20th April 2021 at 6:34 am

    let them help, and tell them how helpful they are being! let them know how proud i am of them x

  • Patricia Barrett

    21st April 2021 at 5:27 pm

    Praise them when they do something well, and let them know what happened when something goes wrong.

  • Adrian Bold

    21st April 2021 at 6:28 pm

    We always give praise when deserved and encouragement when things don’t always go right.

  • Joyce W

    21st April 2021 at 7:53 pm

    Encourage them to give everything a go and above all make sure they know that they are loved

  • Allison

    21st April 2021 at 9:16 pm

    I give him lots of praise and when out in shops, restaurants and cafes encourage him to pay for goods and to ask for the price or items or the bill.

  • Kat

    21st April 2021 at 11:51 pm

    Have positive words to say and encouragement.

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