Single Parent Spotlight: Judith Healy

2nd April 2014
Welcome to my new, regular blog slot called Single Parent Spotlight!

The aim of these interviews is to show how amazing us working single parents are. I’m sick of seeing the bad press single parents
get, especially because some single parents have unfortunately taken the choice
to live off benefits, or even worse, have children in order to get benefits,
and we all seem to get tarred with the same negative brush!

I want to highlight how hard, but also how rewarding
being a working single parent is, and to hear how other people in my position
handle the tougher times, in the hopes I learn how to be the best parent I can
be!

The first lovely lady to be interviewed is Judith Healy, from Northamptonshire. Judith is in her early 40s and has an 11-year-old daughter. 


Judith

How old was your
child when you became a single parent, and how did this come about?
She was 2 ½- I left my husband to start a new life abroad and he was
meant to join us, but never did as he changed his mind.

What things have you
found hardest as a single parent?
Perceptions –
mine & other people’s I thought people were judging me so perhaps mine are
worse

What are the benefits
to parenting alone, in your opinion?
Continuity

What sort of
relationship do you have with your ex, and how easy/difficult is it to maintain
for your child? 
Awful, the further away he is the better Mars is too
near!  he treats our daughter badly &
I get very angry

How much contact does
the father have?
None at the moment (my
daughter’s choice)

How does your child
cope with contact?
At the moment she has been
so upset by him that contact has ceased she was so upset I stepped in and told
him she no longer wants contact

Does he pay
maintenance? If so, how did you come to an agreement on the amount?
There’s a court order, but he’s currently living abroad
so it can’t be enforced. He also hasn’t worked for nearly 2 years so I haven’t had anything from him

Judith & her daughter (Photo taken by Matt Sprake for Sunday People)

What’s your job, and
how many hours do you work per week? 
I work from home as a freelance telemarketer

Who looks after your
child when you’re working? How do you feel about the current childcare
arrangements?
I work during school hours and if
my Mum is around (she lives abroad), she helps during a couple of half terms
otherwise we muddle along.

How old was your
child when you first went back to work? How easy was it to adjust back into
work? 
She was 9
months old, but that was a lifetime ago and a very different life to the one we have
now.  I was a career girl back then.

What’s your view on
Child /Working Tax Credits, and the cost of childcare?
Without child/ working tax credits we wouldn’t
survive. 

What is your
work/home/social life like? Have you managed to find a good balance? If so,
how? 
What
social life!  I don’t go out, my life is
centred around home, as I am always at home.

What tips do you have
for other single parents wanting to meet someone? 
Allow
yourself a chance to grieve- it is a bereavement

What would your top 3
tips be to a newbie single parent? 
Believe in yourself, trust your instincts.  It’s fine to cry when they are asleep in bed.

If you, or someone you know would like to be interviewed for Single Parent Spotlight, please contact me.

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9 Comments

  • rachel @ activities4kidz

    3rd April 2014 at 7:17 am

    Must be incredibly difficult. I'm not a single parent but struggle sometimes so to be on your own…well done!

  • Anonymous

    3rd April 2014 at 3:27 pm

    Thanks for sharing this story with such honesty. I find your blog to be very real and relatable. 🙂

  • Anonymous

    5th April 2014 at 6:49 am

    An honest interview =) #binkylinky

  • Emily Twin Mummy and Daddy

    5th April 2014 at 11:55 am

    I think single parents do a great job. it's tough being a parent. Thanks for linking up #binkylinky

  • Colour Queen

    5th April 2014 at 11:42 pm

    This is a great idea for a regular blog slot. My friend is a single parent and I babysit for her often. She is always on the go and works so hard. One thing I will say though, her relationship with her daughter is so beautiful and they are so incredibly close. I'm not sure she would have that level of closeness if she wasn't raising her daughter alone. I may be wrong, its just something I've observed. I think you are all very strong and do a great job!

  • BakedPotatoMummy

    6th April 2014 at 8:26 am

    This is a really interesting feature, but I admit this interview cuts a little close to the bone at the moment! My husband move abroad with work almost a year ago, days after Potato turned 1. We're still together and his salary allows me to stay at home and raise our son. But he's only made it home 4 times in that year and I find it tough being in this odd half-way situation. I don't know what the future holds for our family at the moment. But as long as Potato is happy, I'm happy
    Thank you for linking up with #BinkyLinky

  • Honest Mum

    9th April 2014 at 7:54 pm

    What a brilliant, insightful feature. So sorry to hear that the ex is not providing the support he should financially or emotionally to his daughter. Thanks for linking up to #brillblogposts please link back. Thanks

  • Our World and Autism

    23rd April 2014 at 3:44 pm

    I'm married but feel like a single parent! I can relate to a lot of this! x

  • Anonymous

    7th May 2014 at 8:32 pm

    I work in the court service and in most cases you can enforce maintenance orders abroad. If you are on a low income you should qualify for fee remission of the court fee for the application. Google REMO or check out the http://www.justice.co.uk website.

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