Last night I had a bit of a shock. I looked in the mirror and was completely DISGUSTED by what I saw. I am not just curvy or chunky anymore, I’m fat.

I have lived in leggings and harem trousers ever since Chunk was born two and a half years ago as I cannot get into my beloved jeans.

The first year of his life was a pretty stressful one what with sperm donor acting the way he did and treating us the way he has, and to be fair life is still stressful but I’ve learnt different ways to manage this.

Me for the last 2 years

I am a big comfort eater and that has got me through the tough times, but when I look at it, I mean REALLY look at it, it really hasn’t helped me feel better at all. It’s actually made me feel worse as I cannot stand looking at myself.

Catching a side glimpse of myself in the mirror last night was awful, but it was like a slap on the face and has spurred me on to finally stop making excuses and actually sort it out.

Yes I’ve tried diets and various ways to lose weight which I’ve blogged about in the past, but I never kept any of it up, but I think I just wasn’t in the right headspace.

Today is a new day and I want to look good, get into my favourite clothes and be healthier for the sake of my gorgeous little boy. I don’t want him becoming a fattie like me, and I don’t want to impact my health anymore than my other health conditions already impact on it.

So I am going to list the food I eat this week, and I am not buying any junk. I’m going to retrieve my favourite jeans from the back of the wardrobe and display them to see everyday.

I am not a great fan of fruit these days, especially with my jaw problem (apples hurt so much to chew!) so I now have a Philips Viva Compact Juicer to ensure I get my vitamins and nutrients from fruit.

viva compact juicer
Viva Compact Juicer

I’m impressed by this Philips juicer because it’s lovely and compact which is perfect for my minuscule kitchen, it looks cute and it does the job well. The way it has been designed means it’s also really easy to clean- in the past I’ve had juicers that I’ve barely used because I couldn’t be bothered to go through the cleaning process afterwards, but this literally takes a minute to open and rinse.

Despite being compact, it can juice 1.5 litres each time, and it’s quite powerful so I didn’t need to cut the apples too small to juice them.

So far I’ve had shots of lemon juice and Chunk has enjoyed apple juice. I’m hoping this will help reduce my intake of tea and also help me to feel more energetic so I might actually restart my exercise regime.

My goal is to lose five stone, but I’m going to take it stone by stone to help the aim to feel more achievable. Wish me luck, and if you have any tips to help me do this please comment below!

I was kindly sent the Viva Compact Juicer to review. No payment was received and all opinions are honest and my own.

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