Single Parent Spotlight
The aim of these interviews is to show how AMAZING us working single parents are.
I want to highlight how hard, but also how rewarding being a working single parent is, and to hear how other people in my position handle the tougher times, in the hopes I learn how to be the best parent I can be!
I’m sick of seeing the bad press single parents get in the media, because some single parents have taken the choice to live off benefits, or even worse, have children in order to get benefits. We all seem to get tarred with the same negative brush!
My 27th interviewee is 34-year-old Monta, a nursery teacher from North London who has three children, an 8-year-old dauighter and 2-year-old twins.
How old were your
children when you became a single parent, and how did this come about?
children when you became a single parent, and how did this come about?
It was a year ago when my twins were one.
What things have you
found hardest as a single parent?
found hardest as a single parent?
Almost everything- financial struggle,
physical and emotional struggle, keeping motivated, lack of social life and
personal life.
physical and emotional struggle, keeping motivated, lack of social life and
personal life.
What are the benefits
to parenting alone, in your opinion?
to parenting alone, in your opinion?
Don’t argue about how the children should be
brought up and there are no arguments in front of the children.
brought up and there are no arguments in front of the children.
Have you faced any
negative judgements/stereotypes for being a single parent? If so can you share
with us what happened and how it made you feel?
negative judgements/stereotypes for being a single parent? If so can you share
with us what happened and how it made you feel?
Some people have said to me “You will never find boyfriend
who will support you and 3 kids” and others judge me for living off the government.
who will support you and 3 kids” and others judge me for living off the government.
What sort of
relationship do you have with your ex, and how easy/difficult is it to maintain
for your children?
relationship do you have with your ex, and how easy/difficult is it to maintain
for your children?
None, he changed his phone number and doesn’t want anything to do with
us.
us.
Does he pay maintenance?
If so, how did you come to an agreement on the amount?
If so, how did you come to an agreement on the amount?
He pays nothing.
What’s your job, and
how many hours do you work per week?
how many hours do you work per week?
Nursery teacher 16 hours per week.
Who looks after your
children when you’re working? How do you feel about the current childcare arrangements?
children when you’re working? How do you feel about the current childcare arrangements?
They come in with me, but are in a different group. The amount I have to pay is terrible and
governments cap on childcare depresses me.
governments cap on childcare depresses me.
How old were your
children when you first went back to work? How easy was it to adjust back into
work?
children when you first went back to work? How easy was it to adjust back into
work?
The twins were 17 months old.
Have you ever felt
guilt by working? If so, why?
guilt by working? If so, why?
No because they were with me in the building and I still get to see them.
What’s your view on
Child /Working Tax Credits, and the cost of childcare?
Child /Working Tax Credits, and the cost of childcare?
Way too low, there
shouldn’t be cap on them especially for single parents who don’t have support
from ex partners.
shouldn’t be cap on them especially for single parents who don’t have support
from ex partners.
What is your
work/home/social life like? Have you managed to find a good balance? If so,
how? I only live to go to work, do the school run, go shopping, do the cooking and then all over
again the following day it seems.
work/home/social life like? Have you managed to find a good balance? If so,
how? I only live to go to work, do the school run, go shopping, do the cooking and then all over
again the following day it seems.
Are you dating again?
If so, how long did it take before you were ready to date again?
If so, how long did it take before you were ready to date again?
No as have
nowhere to leave my 3 kids and can’t afford pay for a babysitter to go out.
nowhere to leave my 3 kids and can’t afford pay for a babysitter to go out.
What tips do you have
for other single parents wanting to meet someone?
for other single parents wanting to meet someone?
Hang on there I guess, because when
they get older you can leave them home alone then your life or they will stay with friends and you will be able to have a social life again.
they get older you can leave them home alone then your life or they will stay with friends and you will be able to have a social life again.
What would your top 3
tips be to a newbie single parent?
tips be to a newbie single parent?
Have good friends around you, have counselling
sessions to process what has happened if you can, and keep busy so that there is no time to think bad thoughts.
sessions to process what has happened if you can, and keep busy so that there is no time to think bad thoughts.
If you want to be interviewed for Single Parent Spotlight, just answer these same questions on this online form here.
1 Comments
JessieKay
14th January 2016 at 9:40 am
Great Post!as a single parent i totally understand you, i wrote an other post about single parents and where to meet new interesting people https://kovla.com/blog/single-parents-need-communicate-8-convenient-places-meet-new-people/ please read it!thank you