A couple of months ago I was contacted by a local journalist who wanted a quote about the threat of children centres being closed down, as he knew I had been involved in protesting against this last year. Whilst arranging to meet to do this he noticed I was a blogger and was keen to find out how I found the blogging world.
So we met for coffee and chatted about social media, blogging and then it turned into chats about life in general and before we knew it a couple of hours had passed and he, who I shall name The Bloke, asked if we could meet again as he noticed we hadn’t discussed what he needed for the quote!
A couple of weeks later we met for lunch and six, yes SIX, hours later we were still chatting and having a great time and then he asked me out for dinner.
By this point I finally clicked that he was wanting a date, and yes I was that dumb and didn’t realise until then that he saw me in that way, mainly because there is quite an age gap between us (19 years to be exact).
I’ve never dated someone a lot older as it never really appealed to me. I know people who dated older guys in their twenties, but looking back at my twenties I was mentally far too young and wanted the pretty boys or the rugged, idiotic builders when I was drunk.
So we went for afternoon drinks and dinner and then that as they say was it. We began to see each other a lot over Christmas and then had the “let’s be exclusive talk”.
Now I’m in my thirties and have a child I feel a lot more grown up (not always ha ha) and feel that I need a mature relationship which is not something I’ve ever experienced with guys who are in their twenties or thirties.
The Bloke is the first guy I have met in a very long time (if ever) who has a lot of the qualities I have always looked for and never found.
Unlike most of the male population he has empathy by the bucket load and high emotional intelligence, so he is brilliant at working out what I need in terms of emotional support. He can identify his feelings and verbalise them- CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! And I think this may be why arguments are just not something that have happened yet as he sees past any moods or behaviours and sees what has caused them so he can work with it.
He has ambition and drive to do the best in his chosen career and he is so positive and motivating to be around. He never judges me, instead always pointing out my good points, and like Mark Darcy he loves me “just the way I am”.
We have intellectual conversations and amazingly he loves to show me off to his friends and family which is something sperm donor avoided doing at all costs which affected me more than I realised.
He is a parent himself and has experienced splitting up from their mother and finding ways to be amicable with his ex and maintaining contact. He has been a constant presence in his kids life physically, financially and emotionally which is so refreshing to see!
Above all I feel secure, safe and very happy around him. He has met my son and it’s lovely to see the bond they are forming.
Don’t get me wrong there have been a few times when we first started to date that I felt myself backing out from the sheer fear of being hurt again, but he took it at my pace and never pushed me to do anything I didn’t want to do.
He respects me and again this is something I have not experienced for a very long time from a partner, and he has been so patient during the few times I have questioned my own abilities to be a girlfriend. It’s been so long that it is daunting and very scary, but at the same time already I love this man and hate the thought of him not being in my life.
Things with him are…easy, and that is the most refreshing thing of all as all of my relationships have been volatile, emotional rollercoasters. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh and so far he’s not made me cry so I am one very happy girl.
He’s the light within what is a very, very dark time for me in my life and I will be forever thankful that he came into my life.